Is It Me Or Capitalism?
Portrait of a woman running on fumes
Last weekend, I spent a few days in the Sierra Nevada Mountains hiking with my partner for his birthday. Fresh, pine-scented mountain air and time away from screens always improves my mental state, but I returned Sunday evening with a fever and intense body fatigue. I’ve worked hard over the last two years to be gentle with myself, to rest as much as I can when I feel run down while continuing to parent, perform well at work, cook, clean, walk the dog, and maintain some semblance of a social life. Still, I can’t help but feel frustrated with myself when I start to feel like I’m running on fumes.
No matter how hard I try, I feel like I’m perpetually behind on something. I spent most of my twenties and early thirties thinking if I just found the optimal method for productivity, all my problems would be solved. For those of you who have been here awhile, you know that it led to burnout and three months of eating disorder outpatient medical …