In Defense Of Potlucks & Cluttered Homes
On cultivating community amidst the chaos
A few weeks ago, I read an article listing rules for how to be a good dinner party host. It included things like don’t rush, try to make as much ahead of time as possible (like coq au vin), keep wine and water glasses full, and don’t do the dishes in front of your guests. I am thirty-eight years old, and I can count on one hand the number of dinner parties like this I’ve hosted. I love a good dinner party, and in an ideal world I’d love to host more of them. But in reality, having the time, finances, and energy to host events like these is a privilege many of us don’t have.
Most people I know are overwhelmed, exhausted, disconnected, and often lonely despite perpetually scrolling and Zooming online. We crave more opportunities to connect genuinely with one another, but we often hold ourselves to unreasonable expectations around what having people over should look like. If you also feel hosting dinner parties isn’t something you’re able to do regularly, I’d lik…