I love what you wrote, both the American Dream poem and your reflections. If I was in my 40s, had a passport and a bigger sense of adventure, I would so sign up for the hiking retreat. I am afraid I would hide on the Scottish moors and never return to - here - where I live now.
Ha Julie! There is a legitimate possibility I won’t want to return after spending a week in the Highlands. Luckily our cottage is very cozy and situated in a National Park, so if there’s anyone who wants to forgo a hike to stay in they’re always welcome to do that. I imagine at the end we’ll all be struggling to return home by the end :)
Thanks, Danielle. I think there is a double standard of sorts, looking up to the white collar, looking down on the blue, and further down at the collarless. But then that irony.....I know a couple who make well over 250k a year, and still they are always broke. There is no side hustle, no trying to change their downcast state, just a constant hatred of work they can barely force themselves to do, work that is killing their souls. They are in their 50s and still cannot "afford" a house of their own. You, myself, we are so lucky to be doing what we love. And I know you enough to know that when you did all these jobs (what variety!), you did them with at least a modicum of grace and gratitude. There is so much wisdom in learning to love what is, to love what you have. It's a hard lesson, but it's there for all of us. Of course, I'm sitting pretty at the moment in a house we've paid for, completely comfortable, well-fed, etc., but it wasn't always like this and I don't know how I would have survived so much without at least trying to see the upside of things. I hate watching my friends literally killing themselves slowly, a slave in the wretched capitalism that is fueling the ruin of us, and our planet. Esp. since, if they could only see some small bit of beauty in their jobs--even if only a thankfulness to have them, I think they would be happier and maybe even able to stop being constantly "broke."
This reminds me of a study I read years ago where they found that up to a point (I believe at the time it was $75K for a single person), earning more money does bring more happiness, but once you reach financial stability, the rate of increased happiness plateaus the more you earn. Earning $250K a year and still feeling broke is wild to me, but I suppose it depends on where you live and the life you're attempting to lead. For the most part, I am immensely grateful for the opportunities I've had, and even when it's been incredibly tough, I still had privilege--health insurance, family I could move in with if necessary, friends who leaned in to bring food & help with childcare. But there are times the impact of the longterm hustle, the longterm stress of worrying about finances that's embedded in my bones, becomes apparent. My body and mind are fatigued so much more easily than they used to be. My biggest worry as I look ahead isn't my unwillingness to hustle if needed, it's my aging body's inability to do so. I've found that even on the worst days, it's helpful to think of three specific things that happened in the last 24 hours that I'm grateful for. They can be little, like waking up with my dog snuggled up against me or the joy of hundreds of bumblebees finding flowers in my wild front yard. Just honing in on the little things that bring me joy, whether at home or at work, are a reminder of everything that is good, even in the moments that feel hard.
I appreciated reading this because it is so me. Always trying to sell my poems or t-shirts or poetry services in some way and always feeling like I’m pretty much bothering folks with it. But the options are limited and at the very least poetry brings me joy.
Thank you so so much Diana. I completely understand that sentiment. While my book was in the pre-order phase, I felt really uncomfortable marketing it, but I reminded myself of how often I'd seen other writers spend months marketing and talking about their books. It's really difficult to feel like we aren't "annoying" people, so finding a balance of sharing other things that have nothing to do with selling a book or anything else feels important. But if I was ever in a position where I never had to market again and someone else could do it for me, I certainly wouldn't mind, lol
I wrote a note like this recently and definitely didn't mean that towards creators or influencers as I do the same! I even mentioned I actually do admire the hustle. And I try to support as many small creators as I can instead of big corporations. I think it's amazing we have the ability to directly support and impact those miles away through the phone.
I have just found that due to consumer fatigue, after long days of trying to make it myself, unfortunately when I'm opening an app or something to also find relief (which is probably where I'm messing up in the first place) I find myself disengaging when I'm overstimulated by being sold to. And I don't see a lot of people talking about consumer fatigue or how they don't ~want to disengage but may find themselves drifting from a platform like IG which is always ads now (again that's the app not the people) because it doesn't feel good.
I do love substack for the fact that it's discourse and art and community again, and don't feel that feeling over here. So totally agree it's the ecosystem & big corporations causing that feeling and I hope if it was my note, this explains more of where I'm coming from. I will never knock the people.
Oh my gosh Amy, this wasn’t your note at all! It wasn’t even someone I follow. I’ll write a lengthier reply to this later because I want to reply more thoughtfully, but I wanted you to know you have never given an impression of knocking the people :)
Okay thank goodness 😭 I was worried even after posting it like oh no I hope this isn't taken wrong! And I love this post too because it is so important to remember to see it from the lens of supporting a neighbor.
I've been thinking about your response all day. I feel that consumer fatigue too. It's exhausting. Everywhere ads about how to address my wrinkles, my fashion, my cellulite. At the end of the day--or at any part of the day--those are the last things I want to be targeted for. Because we spend so much time on our phones, it's impossible to escape unless we intentionally spend less time on our phones. That's what I'm working to do. I want to write and share my offerings, and I want to support other small creators and businesses, but on my terms.
Yes, same! Thank you for seeing me and letting me explain where my mind was at! I try to remind myself it's empowering to be intentional about where my energy goes and specifically supporting communities that fill me up with their art & work.
Siiiiigh putting the writer's retreat on a vision board somewhere ❤️
Also fun fact did you know meritocracy literally is a myth? Just like you wrote! It was originally a fictional concept in a dystopian novel in the 50s, and somehow society collectively forgot that meritocracy was a satirical concept.
The Rise of the Meritocracy by Michael Dunlop Young
I have not read the book yet, only came across it maybe a year ago. But WHOO boy would I have planned my life differently if I had known that meritocracy is officially a dystopian concept 🙃
This was so beautifully written! So often our culture lacks empathy for those trying to survive while boasting up the very ones making that survival difficult.
Well done. Thank you!
Thank you ☺️
I love what you wrote, both the American Dream poem and your reflections. If I was in my 40s, had a passport and a bigger sense of adventure, I would so sign up for the hiking retreat. I am afraid I would hide on the Scottish moors and never return to - here - where I live now.
Ha Julie! There is a legitimate possibility I won’t want to return after spending a week in the Highlands. Luckily our cottage is very cozy and situated in a National Park, so if there’s anyone who wants to forgo a hike to stay in they’re always welcome to do that. I imagine at the end we’ll all be struggling to return home by the end :)
Right on! Well said!
Thank you Amrita!
Thanks, Danielle. I think there is a double standard of sorts, looking up to the white collar, looking down on the blue, and further down at the collarless. But then that irony.....I know a couple who make well over 250k a year, and still they are always broke. There is no side hustle, no trying to change their downcast state, just a constant hatred of work they can barely force themselves to do, work that is killing their souls. They are in their 50s and still cannot "afford" a house of their own. You, myself, we are so lucky to be doing what we love. And I know you enough to know that when you did all these jobs (what variety!), you did them with at least a modicum of grace and gratitude. There is so much wisdom in learning to love what is, to love what you have. It's a hard lesson, but it's there for all of us. Of course, I'm sitting pretty at the moment in a house we've paid for, completely comfortable, well-fed, etc., but it wasn't always like this and I don't know how I would have survived so much without at least trying to see the upside of things. I hate watching my friends literally killing themselves slowly, a slave in the wretched capitalism that is fueling the ruin of us, and our planet. Esp. since, if they could only see some small bit of beauty in their jobs--even if only a thankfulness to have them, I think they would be happier and maybe even able to stop being constantly "broke."
This reminds me of a study I read years ago where they found that up to a point (I believe at the time it was $75K for a single person), earning more money does bring more happiness, but once you reach financial stability, the rate of increased happiness plateaus the more you earn. Earning $250K a year and still feeling broke is wild to me, but I suppose it depends on where you live and the life you're attempting to lead. For the most part, I am immensely grateful for the opportunities I've had, and even when it's been incredibly tough, I still had privilege--health insurance, family I could move in with if necessary, friends who leaned in to bring food & help with childcare. But there are times the impact of the longterm hustle, the longterm stress of worrying about finances that's embedded in my bones, becomes apparent. My body and mind are fatigued so much more easily than they used to be. My biggest worry as I look ahead isn't my unwillingness to hustle if needed, it's my aging body's inability to do so. I've found that even on the worst days, it's helpful to think of three specific things that happened in the last 24 hours that I'm grateful for. They can be little, like waking up with my dog snuggled up against me or the joy of hundreds of bumblebees finding flowers in my wild front yard. Just honing in on the little things that bring me joy, whether at home or at work, are a reminder of everything that is good, even in the moments that feel hard.
I love it that your yard is wild and full of bees.
I love it too, my neighbors do not 😂
I appreciated reading this because it is so me. Always trying to sell my poems or t-shirts or poetry services in some way and always feeling like I’m pretty much bothering folks with it. But the options are limited and at the very least poetry brings me joy.
Love this title too. Thanks Danielle.
Thank you so so much Diana. I completely understand that sentiment. While my book was in the pre-order phase, I felt really uncomfortable marketing it, but I reminded myself of how often I'd seen other writers spend months marketing and talking about their books. It's really difficult to feel like we aren't "annoying" people, so finding a balance of sharing other things that have nothing to do with selling a book or anything else feels important. But if I was ever in a position where I never had to market again and someone else could do it for me, I certainly wouldn't mind, lol
I wrote a note like this recently and definitely didn't mean that towards creators or influencers as I do the same! I even mentioned I actually do admire the hustle. And I try to support as many small creators as I can instead of big corporations. I think it's amazing we have the ability to directly support and impact those miles away through the phone.
I have just found that due to consumer fatigue, after long days of trying to make it myself, unfortunately when I'm opening an app or something to also find relief (which is probably where I'm messing up in the first place) I find myself disengaging when I'm overstimulated by being sold to. And I don't see a lot of people talking about consumer fatigue or how they don't ~want to disengage but may find themselves drifting from a platform like IG which is always ads now (again that's the app not the people) because it doesn't feel good.
I do love substack for the fact that it's discourse and art and community again, and don't feel that feeling over here. So totally agree it's the ecosystem & big corporations causing that feeling and I hope if it was my note, this explains more of where I'm coming from. I will never knock the people.
Oh my gosh Amy, this wasn’t your note at all! It wasn’t even someone I follow. I’ll write a lengthier reply to this later because I want to reply more thoughtfully, but I wanted you to know you have never given an impression of knocking the people :)
Okay thank goodness 😭 I was worried even after posting it like oh no I hope this isn't taken wrong! And I love this post too because it is so important to remember to see it from the lens of supporting a neighbor.
I've been thinking about your response all day. I feel that consumer fatigue too. It's exhausting. Everywhere ads about how to address my wrinkles, my fashion, my cellulite. At the end of the day--or at any part of the day--those are the last things I want to be targeted for. Because we spend so much time on our phones, it's impossible to escape unless we intentionally spend less time on our phones. That's what I'm working to do. I want to write and share my offerings, and I want to support other small creators and businesses, but on my terms.
Yes, same! Thank you for seeing me and letting me explain where my mind was at! I try to remind myself it's empowering to be intentional about where my energy goes and specifically supporting communities that fill me up with their art & work.
Siiiiigh putting the writer's retreat on a vision board somewhere ❤️
Also fun fact did you know meritocracy literally is a myth? Just like you wrote! It was originally a fictional concept in a dystopian novel in the 50s, and somehow society collectively forgot that meritocracy was a satirical concept.
The Rise of the Meritocracy by Michael Dunlop Young
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rise_of_the_Meritocracy
What?! I didn't know that at all, that's fascinating! Have you read the full book? I want to know if I should add it to my reading list!
I have not read the book yet, only came across it maybe a year ago. But WHOO boy would I have planned my life differently if I had known that meritocracy is officially a dystopian concept 🙃
This was so beautifully written! So often our culture lacks empathy for those trying to survive while boasting up the very ones making that survival difficult.
I feel like this needs to be said louder for those in back. Wonderful perspective thank you for speaking it out loud. ✨💚
Absolutely ! I wish more people took the time to think about the double standards.