Rejecting the Diet Industry: An Act of Feminist Resistance
How eating and self-reclamation intersect
No physical appearance is worth not eating pasta for - Matt Haig
My freshman year of high school, I attended our Homecoming Dance in a group of eight—four boys sweating through their suits, four girls pretending to enjoy heels. Prior to the event, we went to dinner at a popular Italian restaurant in the city renowned for homemade pasta. When the waitress arrived, all the boys in our group ordered pasta, and every girl ordered a salad, except me. I was fifteen, hungry, and Fettuccine Alfredo sounded much more appetizing than romaine lettuce. It was delicious, but I remember feeling uncomfortable—increasingly self-conscious of my fullness while surrounded by those who wore hunger like a badge of honor.
I wish my story was one of perpetual defiance to the diet industry, but like nearly every woman I know, I eventually succumbed. When billions of dollars are funneled into propaganda telling girls and women their bodies need fixing, how could any of us escape?
In her New York Times piece Smash the Wellness Industry - Why are so many smart women falling for its harmful, pseudoscientific claims? Jessica Knoll illustrates how the diet and wellness industry targets and harms women. She describes a meal with female friends at a local restaurant and laments how each person disparages their body—the soft stretch of stomach post-childbirth, the dimpled cellulite of thigh—justification for strict dietary regimens as the men at tables around them devour thick, juicy cheeseburgers.
Her depiction reminds me of a work conference I attended last fall. Every meal was decadent—pillowy French toast and omelets, hot cocoa with chocolate dipped marshmallows, herb-crusted cod and crispy smashed potatoes, lobster pizza, shrimp tacos smothered in sriracha aioli, salted caramel ice cream drenched in hot fudge. A colleague and I spent the three days trying to taste as much as we could. Dessert was our favorite course. We wanted to try every option, so we piled our plates and shared. On our final day, she hugged me and said I’ve loved eating with you. I know so few women in the United States who enjoy their food.
She did not know a few weeks prior I completed three months in an intensive outpatient program for an eating disorder. Her words were a balm. During every meal of the conference, I heard women talk about being bad or cheating. I found it disheartening. Brilliant, funny, successful women guilt-tripping themselves for eating delicious fare while the men around us piled their plates and discussed ideas from the conference. It felt a little like being in the Matrix. Prior to my outpatient recovery I would have engaged in these conversations, but months of therapy was like taking the red pill—a deprogramming from the diet and wellness bug that was still plaguing most of my female colleagues. I found I was more focused, more present during the conference. It turns out when you aren’t perpetually worried about what you consume, you free up your mind to contemplate more interesting ideas.
The diet industry has faced mounting criticism for its connection to the rise in eating disorders and its detrimental impact on long-term health. Knoll goes on to explain the evolution:
The diet industry is a virus, and viruses are smart. It has survived all these decades by adapting, but it’s as dangerous as ever. In 2019, dieting presents itself as wellness and clean eating, duping modern feminists to participate under the guise of health. Wellness influencers attract sponsorships and hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram by taking before and after selfies to inspiring narratives. Go from sluggish to vibrant, insecure to confident, foggy-brained to clear eyed. But when you have to deprive, punish and isolate yourself to look “good,” it is impossible to feel good.
For most of my twenties and thirties, I was hyper fixated on eating only nutrient-dense foods. I told myself I wasn’t dieting, but any food that could be considered solely pleasurable left me feeling guilty. I loved desserts and baking but became terrified of any form of refined sugar. I blended frozen bananas and milk together when I wanted ice cream. I replaced the sugar in cookies and cakes with date paste. I desperately wanted the dense, gummy chocolate chip cookies and vanilla cupcakes to satiate my cravings. They never did. I love dates and bananas, but I also love cake and ice cream. Fluffy vanilla cake with chocolate buttercream frosting and pistachio gelato. Deprivation only made me want them more.
In outpatient treatment, our focus each meal was to build a peaceful plate—protein, fat, carbohydrates, and at least one fruit or vegetable, all vital components to ensure our organs function properly. Additionally, I was encouraged to bring in trigger foods I was afraid to eat or had trouble eating in proper portions. It was terrifying at first, but I found as I fed my body all the nutrients it needed and no food was off limits, I became less afraid of the triggers.
Food is fuel, but it is also a sensory, communal experience tied to cultural heritage. Scents and flavors are evocative of memories we have with loved ones—making banana bread pancakes with our parents, sharing sun-ripened strawberries and whipped cream in the arms of a lover, baking our great-grandmother’s maple pecan cookie recipe with our children. Imagine a world where we feed our bodies nutritious foods while allowing ourselves the pleasure of delicious, decadent treats. Imagine the time we get back if we aren’t perpetually preoccupied with shrinking and the next size down in jeans.
Diet culture keeps women tired, hungry, weak. When we expend so much energy on trying to control our bodies, we have fewer reserves to fight for human rights, to rebel against misogynistic systems, to question the status quo. Knoll concludes her essay with a challenge:
We cannot push to eradicate the harassment, abuse and oppression of women while continuing to serve a system that demands we hurt ourselves to be more attractive and less threatening to men…When men sit down to a business lunch, they don’t waste it pointing out every flaw on their bodies. They discuss ideas, strategies, their plans to take up more space than they already do. Let’s lunch like that. Who’s eating with me?
Women have been conditioned to stay small, to remain demure and apologetic. Those of us in naturally smaller frames are rewarded for our size. Knoll acknowledges she is a thin, white woman encouraged to slim down, but those in bodies that are less malleable to diet industry ideals struggle significantly more. I’ve witnessed this hierarchy first-hand in corporate America where women’s earning potential is directly tied to their weight. A 2023 short film for The Economist explains how thinness is an economic pursuit, specifically for women:
For an obese woman, losing weight could boost her salary by as much as obtaining a master’s degree. Across the developed world, the richer people are, the thinner they tend to be. But the correlation between wealth and weight in advanced countries holds only for women.
When I facilitated unconscious bias training, one of the statistics we shared was how an increase of 10% in a woman's body mass decreased her income by 6%. This wage cut is in addition to women already earning 20% less than men on average in the U.S. The diet industry pits women against one another, creates a hierarchy of wealth and power that detracts us from collaborating to fight against the common enemy—misogyny.
In her essay What Historical Ideals of Women’s Shapes Teach Us About Women’s Self-Perception and Body Decisions Today, Nealie Tan Ngo examines the history of how women’s bodies have been shaped in patriarchal societies.
Historically, a woman’s body was her best survival tool in patriarchal societies; expectations about a woman’s size and physical characteristics were dictated “by male desire and marriageability.” Therefore, a woman’s body, appearance, and health were (and still are) heavily influenced by social and cultural ideologies, beliefs, and values as well as by technology. In turn, these influences tend to work by restricting the notions of selfhood available to women, forcing women to make decisions to comply with social and cultural demands that they transform their bodies into an idealized shape. An idealized physical body becomes a social body…Historically, bodies closer in appearance to ideal bodies gave some women power.
Society’s bias around women’s bodies is entrenched. To fully dismantle the system, even those of us who have benefitted from more closely aligning to idealized body types need to revolt against it. It benefits a patriarchal society for women to remain weak and pitted against one another, but the longterm physical and psychological impacts of dieting are dire. It will take collective momentum and effort to shift the tide, a reclamation by us all. None of us are free until we are all free.
So where do we start?
What if we allow ourselves to feel angry at a system that strives to keep us small. Demand our doctors measure our health without resorting to outdated methods like weight or BMI. Unfollow social media accounts that makes us feel bad about our own bodies. Wear clothes that are comfortable and allow our skin to breathe. Tell the diet and wellness industry to Fuck off.
What if we refuse to define our worth by our shape or size and focus on what our bodies allow us to do—hug, cook, hike, swim, write, speak, dance, laugh, play, think, imagine, read, make love, create, invent.
What if we dedicate our time and energy to living. Wear a swimsuit to the beach. Take pictures with our children. Post selfies. Fuel our body and mind with all kinds of food. And when we go out to dinner, what if we give ourselves permission to order the pasta?
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So well written, Danielle!! The diet industry is so insidious. Thank you for sharing your story & these insights into how the industry preys on women.. "surrounded by those who wore hunger like a badge of honor." 😭😭
Yes! And I love that you reference Jessica K and her writing. Thanks for sharing!